Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Logjams and Dynamite

This is a photo of Lincoln City, Oregon on a foggy day and those things on the beach are huge logs that have washed down from the Cascades and Coast Range to the beach.
If you have read the blog before you know I am obsessed with the Pacific Northwest. It is my hearts home and if not for my family I would still be there.I plan to go back and visit and encourage you to do so.It is where I feel closest to god and his majesty.

Those logs on the beach got me to thinking about logjams. In the mountains during the rainy season you will often have landslides and those trees will cause logjams in the mountain streams that sometime flush their self out with flooding rain but sometimes take heavy equipment or dynamite to resolve.

I often see logjams in my life like doubt,anger, fear and I often think these logjams are the barrier between me and my faith in God. Logjams happen when the flow of water gets blocked causing a dam like effect and it seems the same with emotions sometime.
Prayer I think is the dynamite that breaks it free and also  hard work.

I think I have had  such a  hard time with my faith these past 7 years because I didn't have an earthly father who loved me and so it seems that I find it hard to believe a heavenly father would . My earthly father was a victim of abuse and abandonment at an early age and he continued the legacy with me. My whole life he called me ugly, told me no one would marry me and made fun of me. The day I was baptized he made fun of me refused to come to church and wouldn't let my mother come either. I think this has been a major logjam in my life. I didn't share this to make anyone pity me only to share where I have been.It is only now as I near 50 that I feel that I have value and worth.

I also think these logjams can keep you from fulfilling the plan that God has for you because they keep you from believing that you can do things for God.I know I need to listen to that still small voice inside that leads me where I need to go instead of the voice in my head that plays on rewind that I have no worth or value. I need to take that record outside and break it.
I hope that with prayer and help from other people on the path with me to find the dynamite  or bulldozer to break the dam of despair and bring forth a river that is flowing and creating a new life . I know that bulldozer needs to excavate my heart and take away all the blockages that are there from years of abuse.
In the 90's I had a print of Jesus hugging the lost sheep sometimes I close my eyes and imagine him hugging me like his long lost child and welcoming me back home.


See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland Isaiah 43:19

“Some people live in cages with bars built from their own fears and doubts. Some people live in cages with bars built from other people's fears and doubts; their parents, their friends, their brothers and sisters, their families. Some people live in cages with bars built from the choices others made for them, the circumstances other people imposed upon them. And some people break free.”
C. JoyBell C.



Buttercup said...

Thanks so much for visiting Buttercup's. I hope you will stop by often. "Mrs. Poe" is on my reading list, too. Keep cozy!

Linda said...

Wow..very beautiful & powerful post.I am sorry for your past..---Hope you have a Merry Christmas..blessings

Anonymous said...

The Pacific northwest is a majestic place to visit. Thanks for stopping by.

Olive said...

Hi Yolanda and it is very nice to meet you. We do have a lot in common. I do not tell people to read what I have written often but you may find some encouragement in my series "Hold Everything Lightly" in the pages at the top of my blog. I also have experienced much loss. I love to read just as you do and read C.S. Lewis frequently. I read the Bonhoeffer book last year and it made me cry-what a believer he was. Hang in there. You are not alone. xo, olive

Patty Sumner said...

Wow, Yolanda what a great analogy to life with the logjams....The picture is beautiful and that is just how we look at times... looking all perfect until you take a closer look and see the logs laying on the beach....Praying you continue to find your self worth and value in the Lord. The ole devil just does not want us to see ourselves as God sees us....especially as women...Thanks for your openness and faith. Praying you continue to walk in trust of the Lord! You have the power and are a powerful women of God! Let it loose girl! Blessings!

Jean said...

The visual of that picture of Jesus holding the lamb is absolutely beautiful. You are that lamb, and He is holding you just like that.

To me, praise and worship music is the most effective "dynamite" to break up the logjams caused by fear, despair, doubt, discouragement, etc. Many, many times the lyrics come alive just when I need them.

Sherri B. said...

I am sorry about your past and am glad you shared with us so that the wisdom from the other ladies may be of help.
I have been trying to retrain myself back to my faith after several medical 'shocks' in our family over the last 3 years. I keep feeling like I'm waiting for the next shoe to drop...I have started something new..When I get that bad feeling, I stop right away and say.."Jesus, teach me how to have your joy right now." and He does..right that second. I know it sounds simple but we are to come to Him as a child and He will help us help ourselves.
I will keep you in my prayers dear Yolanda and ask Jesus to show you what you need to heal and be the person He made you to be.
Much love to you. xo

Sharon said...


Logjams? Oh how we all have those. I am so sorry for the terrible things you experienced in the past, but I am thankful that you have looked to our Heavenly Father. He is so faithful, loves us no matter what and is always there for us.
Thank you for sharing your heart, that can sometimes be a difficult thing to do, but it can also be a very helpful thing to be able to encourage those experiencing similar trials.
Praying for you to always feel the love that our Lord has for you, to always cling to Him and to seek Him :)

Willow said...

PNW will always be in my blood. I was born and grew up there.
Praying that your logjams will be dynamited away by the power of Christ.

Catherine said...

Wishing you and your family a most wonderful holiday season! PEACE!
xo Catherine