Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I chose this photo today because it depicts how I feel today. Do you ever feel tossed and turned by the waves of life ? I do.
I got up at 3:00 am to drive my husband to the airport. He is going back to MS possibly to see his sister for the last time and it makes me sad to stay here. I know that it is for the best because of a variety of reasons. I know it is what he feels is best but it doesn't make me feel any better that he has to be alone. My husband has never had an easy path and she is the only living relative he has left of his immeadate family as my sister is for me.
Anita, my sister -in-law was born with spina bifida in the 50's when they didn't close it up like they do now. She is as strong a woman as you will ever meet. She has had some 30 surgeries but managed to work a full time job until her 40's. She has been married for over 30 years to her husband and raised 2 kids .Over the years she has battled numerous infections which caused her to lose both legs. Now she is gravely ill and her family has some tough decisions to make.
I know that what I have learned from her and my husband and the loss of both my parents and my hope of being a mother all in the last 7 years is this.Life is lived in the in-between moments , the everyday ones not the extreme joyful days or the great sorrowful ones but in the day to day.I know that I have learned from all of the experiences of the past couple of years that when things of this nature strike that it is the" Ordinary Miracle" days that you cherish the most.The things I cherish or not things but the laughter of my nephew , the voice of my husband, the soulful eyes and jumping joy of my dogs. It is seen in the beauty of Mt . Hood when I drive to work with the sun rising behind it or the majesty of my beloved Oregon Coast where the above photo was taken. .
I guess I just wanted to share this maybe as just a way to sort out what I am feeling right now.
I ask also that you remember Angela of Sweet Surrender. She will find out today the test results of her husbands cancer.I know how it feels to be there and I just ask that you keep her in your thoughts.The quote below I really needed to hear today.
Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.