Tuesday, October 11, 2011
It seems over the last 2 months that my life has been about change. We have moved cross country and I have started a new job with many new challenges. I am trying to adjust to working nights again after 23 years of working days.We have downsized to a smaller house and downsized to one income until my husband can find a job. Our house has come with its own challenges as we are renting but I decided that I wasn't going to choose discouragement or doubt. I decided that I am going to be content and to Choose Joy.
Recently one of my favorite bloggers Gitzen Girl died but she left such a legacy in how she lived and approached her life. I admired her because like her I deal with several chronic illnesses ( I have a malformation in my brain that causes pain and fibro like muscle systems for which there is no cure and also diabetes, and PCOD. I decided long ago that I was not going to give in to these conditions and as long as I am able I will continue to work and provide for my family. I feel that the disease might be a part of me but it doesn't control me.
I have shared all of this to say that I have thought long and hard about my place in blogging world and whether I have anything relevant to say or that anyone cares but I believe I do have something to say that might be encouraging to others.
I have been in a valley for the past five years with my faith but I feel a renewal , a blossoming of hope in my heart for the future despite all the difficulties and I feel that with all the trials I have been through I can understand how others going through these spots feel.I don't know why I have faced all the things I have faced but maybe God is using them to help me to help others.
I can identify with so many groups:
1.I can identify with those who are single later in life. I didn't marry till I was 36
2.I can identify with those who have a chronic illness.
3.I can identify with those who are facing difficulties financially in this economic climate.
4.I can identify with those who lose hope.
5 I can identify with those who struggle with their weight.
6. I can identify with those who have lost family members . I have only my husband and my sister and her kids left.
7. I know what it is like to take care of a family member who is dying.(My mom died of breast cancer on hospice at my house)
8. I know what it is like to move somewhere you know no one and start over again. I have done this three times.
9.I understand the burdens it places on a woman to be the primary breadwinner.
10.I know what it is like to deal with depression.
I know through my reading of blogs that a lot of bloggers present the rosy side of things and we who read compare ourselves to those bloggers thinking why isn't my life perfect like theirs . I want this blog and my testimony here to be that life is not fair, it hurts sometimes but there is hope and a way through. I want what I write here to be real like life.
I hope that you will come along with me as I adjust to a new kind of normal,find a church home and regrow my faith in new soil. I think God had to do some pruning on my branches to bring forth new growth.
I will try to blog regularly (the days I don't work 12 hours) and I will always be real.I know that sometimes all I really want is to know there are others like me who struggle but don't give up.
quote by muchlove-anna.blogspot.com